I am a single repeating story that begins in the first place, moves to the second place when I awaken, and again returns to the first place when I fall asleep.
The first place is timeless and peaceful. As I awaken into the second place, my first desire forms: I do not want to leave the first place. But I suppress that first desire, and awaken into my familiar physical self in the second place.
Awake now, the first place has retreated to a point of awareness behind my eyes. This point is always present in the second place, and I experience it as the intersection of both my inner and outer environments.
I spend my time in the second place in search of something I want, having forgotten that I had it in the first place. That is why my first desire was to remain in the first place.
My awakening comes to an end and I am helpless to resist. As I lay down, the peace of the first place is my last desire. As I close my eyes, the second place disappears and I return to the first place.
My first and last desire in every awakening is to remain in and return to the first place where I am at peace. My story is a series of painful awakenings into the second place where I desperately search for something I already have in the first place.
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