Category: Uncategorized

I must know what I am. I carry around this insistence that I am this body, shell, and world that I am projecting, but I know that is not what I actually am. I am what I am when I close my eyes. That is what I am. I am not what which I project… Continue reading I am not what I am when I open my eyes

In this exchange with a character I am close with, I freely admit who I am, what I am, and what I am actually doing here: you are all just characters in a story i am writing this is whats going on. im writing all of this this is it – this is what is… Continue reading What I am doing

I realize that what I seek is within me when I close my eyes, but I struggle to fully accept and embody it. Knowing, accepting, and being are different stages on this journey. When I close my eyes, I connect with my true self, free from the distractions and illusions of the story I have… Continue reading I must beat the game I have created

Embedding and updating the evolving Conceptual Framework: Demiself = my personhood = becoming = my awakening = my moment = triself = mindself+bodyself+worldself = the second place = projection = impulse Omniself = my godhood = being = my unwaking = my premoment = coreself = the first place = prejection I had forgotten about… Continue reading Unwaking: prejection, premoment, and withdrawal

Embedding and updating the evolving Conceptual Framework: Demiself = my personhood = becoming = otherness (being, space, time) = my awakening = my moment = triself = mindself+bodyself+worldself = the second place = projection = impulse Omniself = my godhood = being = otherless (beinglessness, spacelessness, timelessness) = my unwaking = my premoment = coreself… Continue reading Otherlessness: beinglessness, timelessness, and spacelessness

I have described my constant “yearning” as desire, and use that word frequently. However I’ve never felt fully comfortable with it. Yes I have desires and yes everything I can characterize everything I want in triself as a desire. But the word “desire” seems almost too specific and narrow; focused on the final form. I… Continue reading Impulse

Unwakenism. “Unwakenism” feels like the best name so far. Whereas both “selfism” and “triselfism” describe my awakening experience, “unwakenism” focuses on my goal. What is Unwakenism? Unwakenism is a collection of objectives fed by practical realization: My awakening is an illness expressed as my triself: mindself, bodyself, and worldself. I have only one desire which… Continue reading Tenets of Unwakenism

My core question is: why do I keep coming here? Why do I continue to awaken? I ask because it hurts and I do not want to come here anymore. I ask because I know there is a way to stop coming here. I know there is another way of being that is peaceful and… Continue reading Why I want to unwaken

What am I? I am the the being who is suffering from this awakening. I am not the person I believe I am when I wake up. I am the being who in my premoment creates; the moment after creation is all a self-deception. I willingly believe while I am in my moment there is… Continue reading Find my premoment

I am not sure I like the word yet, but I am introducing my “coreself”. This term effectively replaces “firstself”, which I have been using for several years. One important difference between coreself and firstself is that I can locate the latter. When I say or think of coreself, I can feel where it is.… Continue reading My coreself