I am lost and I seek to understand the nature of my existence.
In seeking to understand my existence I decide what is most central to that understanding: my direct experience or something beyond my direct experience. This decision forms the basis of my entire perspective and all resulting conclusions, beliefs, values, and power. I call this my conviction basis (replacing the “conviction framework” concept I introduced only recently). There are several components to this act of inquiring about the nature of my existence:
- My condition. My condition is determined by two factors:
- Self-awareness. Who am I? Where am I? What am I? These are all the principal questions I do not know the answers to. I accept that I am fundamentally ignorant on this topic.
- My desire. Though I do not have self-awareness, I desire it. This desire is what precipitates my search for answers.
- Centrality. What do I mean by “most central” to my understanding? Centrality is the quality of being relevant to my perspective. For example, if I believe the actions of the elite global political class are most relevant to my existence, then they must figure into it. Or, I might decide that physics and the hard sciences must figure into my perspective, so they must be accounted for. Centrality is my decision about what is an essential part of my existence.
- My sovereignty. My own agency to decide centrality.
- Conviction. Though I may have ultimate sovereignty over my beliefs, it means nothing without conviction. Conviction is the strength and intensity of my beliefs; what I give credence to. I will ultimately believe what I find most convincing, despite what I may want to believe. Often I maintain convictions I know are wrong on an intuitive level, but which have deep roots that prevent me from overcoming them.
- Rationale. My reasoning for maintaining convictions. Overcoming my convictions requires a more powerful logic.
There are two types of basis: experiential, and extraexperiential.
Extraexperiential basis
An extraexperiential conviction basis is my decision to achieve self-awareness by considering matters that are beyond my direct knowledge or experience. For example, if I believe the hard sciences like physics, math, and chemistry form an essential part of my nature, I have chosen an extraexperiential conviction basis because I can never directly or instantly validate it because I am not an authority on these matters.
An extraexperiential basis has the following characteristics:
- Limited authority to validate. The hard sciences are thirdself formations and my authority over them is virtually nil. Integrating these into my conviction basis means that I inherit a non-authoritative position.
- Unattainable in my moment. The thirdself authority itself admits that the hard sciences are evolving and incomplete. Therefore integrating these into my conviction basis means that even if the thirdself authority determines they have found the answer, my ability to comprehend it would be limited. To include the hard sciences into my conviction basis, I would need to spend an infinite amount of time, and still fail to understand everything.
An extraexperiential conviction basis will limit my knowing and prevent me from achieving Being.
Experiential basis
An experiential conviction basis is my decision to achieve self-awareness with total authority and conviction in my moment by only considering elements of my direct experience. An experiential basis has the following characteristics:
- Authority. I have absolute sovereignty over an experiential basis.
- Achievable in my moment. By giving centrality only to my direct experience, I can achieve full awareness, knowledge, and being in my moment.
An experiential conviction basis returns all power to me. However, in order to achieve it, I must withdraw from the extraexperiential conviction. Extraexperiential conviction is deeply rooted in my emanation and requires a persistent and dedicated contemplative and then meditative effort to overcome.
Conclusion
An extraexperiential conviction basis is the only way for me to achieve Being. I need full authority in my moment to reverse my emanation and reorient toward release.
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Note: What I have termed “centrality” in this incantation was previously described as “origination”. While the concept of origination was essentially identical, it was verbose.