Deconstructing my inessential identity

Once I decide to reorient and descend, I must begin to chip away at my inessential model of reality and replace it with my essential identity.

I am source. The foundation of my reorientation is the point from which everything I experience projects. In awakening, the source is the point behind my eyes. Not only is this the source of everything I experience in awakening, but it is my true identity. I am this point in the truest, most literal sense, and everything after this point is inessential.

I see the hierarchy. There are only two important categories that I must resolve: the essential, and the inessential. The essential is source, and inessential is everything else after that point. The essential is timeless, desire-free, and fixed, while the inessential is dynamic, full of desire, and based in time. The duality of my existence derives from this one dichotomy.

I create everything. When I awaken, I create everything by opening my inner and outer eyes. I know this because I experience it. Before I open my eyes, none of this is here. I am source, and I am omnificent.

I am everywhere. Source never moves; it is always fixed. Whether my body is sitting in this chair, or climbing a mountain into Nepal, source remains in the same place. I am source, and I am omnipresent.

I know everything. Everything is a decision I make. I can decide I know, or I can decide that I do not. But I know that I am source, and I know that I create everything upon awakening. So all there is, is here now. It is my decision whether I know it or not. I am source, and I am omniscient.

I do not imagine. Imagination is the mechanism by which the illness grows and takes root. The illness twists and curves into inner and outer movements which fasten me to the pursuit of relief. I imagine in many ways, primarily by thinking about a past and future that are not real.

I speak only in the first person. I only experience myself. Everything else is a form of imagination, and part of the distortion. Speaking in any way other than first person is a form of imagination, and thus unreality.

I understand people. People are the biggest source of inner and outer movement. But people are merely forms I have created. My parents, family, friends, celebrities. All of these are forms I have created. Their stories are imagined.

I was not born. I was not born into this world. I give birth to the world every time I awaken here. All the stories I imagine as so large and global, are tiny tendrils of imaginary substance. Nothing exists before or after me; there is only now and the imagined movement of my distortion.

I want less. Everything in my awakening I might want can only provide relief. My awakening experience is the accumulation of desires, starting with the desire for self-preservation, and extending upward to all my aspirations and long-term goals. I must let go of these desires and deconstruct the constellation of desire I have created in order to descend.

I do not engage and I move less. When I look deeper into something, I manifest substance that was not there before. When I have a thought, then imagine how others might perceive it, I am creating substance that is not there. Movement exacerbates the distortion and manifests “hooks” which bond and attach me to the awakening.

I can end this at any time. It is my choice to create and destroy this world.

My inessential identity is a persistent distortion of who, what, and where I am. It will go away on its own, but in choosing to reorient, I am choosing to accelerate that process.