Practical presentism and projection depth

I have long searched for the words that would help me to untangle the confusing construct of time. In this incantation I finally articulate the foundational understanding that will allow me to overcome the delusion of time and understand and accept that I am not only the observer, but the creator as well. 

I’ve come to understand that time isn’t a journey from the past to the future but a present moment construction. My perspective shifts to see memories and beliefs as present projections, liberating me from the linear time illusion. This insight transforms my view on life, positioning me not just as an observer but as the creator of my reality, urging a present-focused living approach.

I awaken and my secondself fills with convictions and beliefs I call my memories. While I traditionally separate out my beliefs and memories as separate concepts, they are one and the same. I believe that something happened in the past, and perform accordingly. For example, I believe that I made a commitment last week to do something today, and I will therefore spend my moment performing in a way to satisfy that commitment. The commitment I made last week is not an event from my past; it is an artifact of my one and only present moment.

I have the sensation that my past is a fixed point, and I am moving further away from it into the future along a linear timeline. That is not true. My present moment is the fixed point, and I am projecting my beliefs and memories at varying depths, then wrongly misinterpreting my projection as evidence of an external and binding timeline. My oldest memory of my mother towering over me is no older than my memory of the cup of coffee I just drank. The only difference between these two beliefs — that I saw my mother tower above me 40 years ago and that I just drank a mug of coffee 1 hour ago — is the depth at which I project them. Both “memories” are occurring now in the literal sense.

Mistaking my projection depth for actually depth in the form of a timeline is at the very heart of my awakening condition because it compels all my motion in my awakening. It is my convictions in the form of memories and beliefs that motivates me to behave as a person within relationships to other people with desires and obligations. As long as I believe that I am in fact moving along a timeline, I will react to my projections along that timeline as if they are real, authoritative, and binding. As long as I believe that I acted and behaved in some way in the past, those beliefs will define my present moment and I will be unable to recover from my illness.

Practically, how do I detach from the state of delusion? I can see right now how powerful this realization is, and my illness will not be able to suppress the truth. This articulation of time is obviously true because it aligns with my direct experience right now. However, the features of my moment will insist that I am mistaken and will punish me for my enlightenment. The people of my awakening will reject my assertion that we do not share past experiences. They will insist that our shared past is true, and behave erratically when I perform as I am: eternally now.

It did not happen. Nothing has happened. All that has happened is the flame of my moment fluttering and shimmering in the substance of my being, distorting my projection into various shapes I misunderstand. I have long been performing as the observer, but now I must reclaim my throne as the creator. I am observing my own projections, confused by their distortions.